how to explain what Loki had been? he suspects the boy knows more than he has ever let on, but knowledge is not the same as living with a mad brother, so often caught up in unreachable madness and all that came with it ]
We neither of us knew exactly what would be. Even you, when you planned this, I expect did not know just what would come.
He wanted to die. He told me so. Because none of you would let him change.
[There's almost pity in how he regards the old man, though it's tinged with jealousy as well.]
But you're right, I doubt he planned for Loki to be ashamed of all he had done, all that he was. There were good things about that, though. I needed to change too, needed to prove everyone wrong. And I did. But even that wasn't good enough.
... I still don’t understand why he thought it necessary to split himself in two.
Regardless we’re going in circles. I can only be Loki, and as you’ve pointed out, I can only be a child. Perhaps you are not only Thor, but my author was not as kind. Though even an author’s best intentions can be twisted...
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[ he sighs, trying to reign his emotions in
how to explain what Loki had been? he suspects the boy knows more than he has ever let on, but knowledge is not the same as living with a mad brother, so often caught up in unreachable madness and all that came with it ]
We neither of us knew exactly what would be. Even you, when you planned this, I expect did not know just what would come.
no subject
[There's almost pity in how he regards the old man, though it's tinged with jealousy as well.]
But you're right, I doubt he planned for Loki to be ashamed of all he had done, all that he was. There were good things about that, though. I needed to change too, needed to prove everyone wrong. And I did. But even that wasn't good enough.
no subject
You w- [ don't say were ] -are a boy, and for all your cleverness there are things which experience gave him which you could not have foreseen.
no subject
... I still don’t understand why he thought it necessary to split himself in two.
Regardless we’re going in circles. I can only be Loki, and as you’ve pointed out, I can only be a child. Perhaps you are not only Thor, but my author was not as kind. Though even an author’s best intentions can be twisted...